FAMILY & CHILDREN'S COUNSELING SERVICES, INC.
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      • Tiffany Runge, AMFT 112914
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        • Lizbeth Brito aprendiz de terapeuta
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Can therapy Help Me?
Picture

Weight Loss Math – Add It In

Candy, soda, smoking, fast food…ever tried to give something up?  How did it work? 

My guess is that it was unpleasant, maybe even torturous, and pathetically unsuccessful. 

The solution? Quit quitting!

That’s right.  For now, we are going to nix the whole notion of giving anything up.   Instead, we are going to start adding things in.  Yes, we are going to do the opposite of "normal" weight loss and dieting, which is based on the concept of taking things away.  (That only causes those yucky feelings of deprivation, anyway!)

No deprivation.  No taking things away; only adding them in.  Let’s take a look at a few things you can start giving yourself today. 

1) Give yourself a mental picture. 
Imagine yourself as a person who doesn’t eat a donut every day, gorge on greasy burgers, or shun the gym.  Imagine yourself as the strong, confident, disciplined person you are becoming.  If you discipline yourself in doing this, you will begin to understand the concept behind the saying, “Mind over matter.”  Don't focus on what you can't have, just think about what you do want and what you can have.

2) Give yourself permission. 
When we take away the “bad” connotations of our worst vice (within reason, of course!), the behavior becomes less taboo, and therefore less tempting.  When you give yourself permission, also give yourself the suggestion that, although you could have it, you simply don’t want it.  “I could have a candy bar right now, but I don’t one.”  Saying this type of sentence quietly to yourself, or even aloud, can have a powerful effect.

3) Give yourself something else to do.
Providing yourself with a replacement behavior will help occupy that empty space that used to be filled with doing the bad habit.  Take a walk, call a friend, gargle with mouthwash, practice deep breathing exercises, read a book, or listen to music.  It may be helpful to write a list when you are feeling strong so that you have something to refer to in a moment of weakness.

4) Give yourself (or someone else) some pampering. 
When our needs for affection, attention or nurturing are not being met, sometimes we behave in ways (albeit misguided) to help us fill the void.  This is often where bad habits come from.
Take care of you.  Send yourself flowers, take a bubble bath, watch your favorite movie, or get a manicure.  Do something that makes you feel special and takes care of your need for nurturing.  Better yet…find someone else who needs some love and care and pamper them with kindness.  (Bonus: you’ll be amazed at how much helping someone else really helps the helper.)

5) Give giving a chance.
Search for deficiencies in your life and add away.  Are you getting enough water?  Add a glass or two per day.  Do you eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables per day?  Add some zucchini and tomato to your spaghetti, or toss some sliced strawberries into your cereal.  Do you have a strong support network?  Make a new friend or call an old one, join a class, send a note to a family member, or invite someone over for dinner.  Do you practice having a positive attitude?  Count your blessings, get a subscription to a quote of the day email, and remind yourself of your positive qualities throughout the day.

When we add to, rather than take away from, we don’t feel deprived.  We feel more empowered to joyfully make decisions that enhance our own well-being.  Sometimes that even includes cutting down on, and then quitting, whatever vice that is thwarting our goal of fitness and good health.

Give these suggestions a try and then give yourself a pat on the back. Giving never felt so good!​

​Back to LifeStyle Guide

This information should not serve as a replacement for therapy.  Please visit the Can Therapy Help Me page for more information if you think you may have an eating disorder, or should require individualized help.
​​

HELPING FAMILIES HEAL, PLAY AND LOVE!


Hours

M-F: 9am - 6pm 
After hours and weekends by appointment 

Telephone

800-430-4490
or go to Meet Us for individual direct contact

Email

info@healplaylove.org
or go to Contact for
department contact
Various legal disclaimers: The persons depicted on this site are models.  Photos do not represent or guarantee results.  Contact for service areas.  This site uses cookies. Your use of this site implies your agreement to the use of cookies. See Privacy Policy for more information.  California residents see the California Consumer Privacy Act.

FCCS is directed by Melinda Haynes, MA, California LMFT 102308.  Oklahoma LMFT 1153. North Carolina LMFT 2143.

We provide therapy for various trauma issues including absent parent, parent in prison, violence, witnessing violence, domestic violence, tragedy, murder,, witness to murder, grief, loss,, death, friend killed, violence in neighborhood, fear, first responder, vicarious trauma, nightmares, panic.

​The National Supervised Visitation online training program is a subsidiary of FCCS and can be found at 
https://www.SupervisedVisitationTraining.com.  Professional consulting for mental and behavioral health professionals is available at www.MelindaHaynes.com.  



Providing Therapy Services in: Los Angeles | San Diego | San Francisco | San Jose | Fresno | Long Beach | Sacramento | Oakland | Santa Ana | Anaheim | Riverside | Stockton | Manteca | Chula Vista | Fremont | Irvine | San Bernadino | Modesto | Oxnard | Fontana | Moreno Valley | Glendale | Huntington Beach | Santa Clarita |  Garden Grove | Santa Rosa | Oceanside | Rancho Cucamonga | Ontario | Lancaster | Elk Grove | Palmdale | Corona | Salinas | Pomona | Torrance | Hayward | Escondido | Pasadena |  Orange | Fullerton | Thousand Oaks | Visalia | Simi Valley | Concord | Roseville | Santa Clara | Vallejo | Victorville | El Monte | Berkeley | Downey | Costa Mesa | Inglewood | Ventura | West Covina | Norwalk | Carlsbad | Fairfield | Richmond | Murrieta | Burbank | Antioch | Daly City | Temecula | Santa Maria | El Cajon | Rialto | Clovis | San Mateo | Compton | South Gate | Vista | Mission Viejo | Vacaville | Carson | Hesperia | Redding | Santa Monica | Westminster | Santa Barbara | Chico | Whittier | Newport Beach | San Leandro | Hawthorne | San Marcos | Citrus Heights | Alhambra | Tracy | Livermore | Buena Park | Lakewood | Merced | Hemet | Chino | Menifee | Napa

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Alameda | Alpine | Amador | Butte | Calaveras | Colusa |  ContraCosta | DelNorte | ElDorado |  Fresno | Glenn | Humboldt | Imperial | Inyo | Kern | Kings | Lake | Lassen | LosAngeles |  Madera | Marin | Mariposa | Mendocino | Merced | Modoc | Mono | Monterey | Napa | Nevada | Orange | Placer | Plumas | Riverside | Sa​cra​mento| San Benito | San Bernardino | San Diego | San Francisco | San Joaquin | San Luis Obispo | San Mateo | Santa Barbara | Santa Clara |  SantaCruz | Shasta | Sierra | Siskiyou | Solano | Sonoma | Stanislaus | Sutter | Tehama | Trinity | Tulare | Tuolumne | Ventura | Yolo | Yuba    
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  • Home
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      • Volunteer Opportunities
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      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to Our Equipment and Supplies Fund
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
  • About
    • Areas Served
    • Contact >
      • Referral Request
      • Satisfaction Survey
    • Brochures
    • Folletos en espanol
    • Who We Are >
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
    • What We Do
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Bryony Hottendorf - Human Resources Assistant
      • Roxanna Taylor- Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Roxanna Taylor- General Assistant Therapy Program
      • Leslie Martinez Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Kasandra Estrada
      • Erica Washington, MSW, ACSW Associate Clinical Social Worker 95523
      • Tiffany Runge, AMFT 112914
      • Emily Medina, MS, LMFT 134196
      • Tyree Griffith MS APCC 7863
      • Lizvet Garcia Therapist Trainee
      • Julianna Hopkins Therapist Trainee
      • Lizbeth Brito Therapist Trainee >
        • Lizbeth Brito aprendiz de terapeuta
      • Katie Servin Therapist Trainee >
        • Katie Servin ASL Therapist Trainee
      • Amber McGuire Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Our History
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
  • Services
    • Coaching >
      • Reunification Coaching
      • Co-Parenting | Parallel Parenting Coaching
      • Parent Skills Coaching
      • Kids Behavior Coaching
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Teen Therapy
      • Reunification Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • LGBTQAI+ Counseling
      • Christian Counseling
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Multi-Sensory Integration
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • EMDR
      • School Based Family Counseling >
        • For Schools and Districts- PBIS Partners
      • E-Motion >
        • Movement- Stored Trauma Therapy
      • Mindfulness
    • Supervised Visitation >
      • Online Visits
      • Getting Started
      • Facilitated Visitation
      • Monitored Exchange
    • Family Preservation
    • Groups >
      • Confident Kids
      • Productive Parenting
    • Daycare / School- Based Services
    • Associate Clinical Supervision
    • Workshops
    • Online Learning Center >
      • Become a Supervised Visitation Monitor
    • PBIS Partners >
      • Why Do We Have Empty Chairs?
      • Signs A Student May Benefit
      • Why Should My School Collaborate with FCCS?
      • School-Based Services May Include
  • Insurance / Fees
    • Insurance Accepted >
      • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
      • TriCare
      • Health Net
      • California Health and Wellness
      • Cigna
      • aetna
      • Molina
      • Molina Medi-Cal
      • Kaiser
      • Victim-Witness
      • Cash Pay
      • Important Note About Insurance
    • Superbills
    • Reduced Fee Therapy
  • Helpful Links
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    • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
    • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
      • Origins of Attachment Trauma
      • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
      • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
    • Mental Health Apps
    • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
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      • Places to Go in North Carolina
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        • Places to Go in Tulsa, Oklahoma
        • Places to Go in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
    • Recommended Reading
    • Celebrity Psychology
    • Weight Management >
      • Why We Develop Bad Habits
      • Diets Don't Work
      • Mapping Out Success
      • Journaling
      • Making New Habits
      • Creating Staying Power
    • Can We Talk?
    • Life On Their Terms >
      • Is My Partner Abusive?
      • The Cycle of Violence
      • Dangers of Staying
      • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
    • What is a Treatment Plan?
    • Of Caterpillars and Courage
    • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Career Center
    • What We Offer
    • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
    • Practicum Site - Therapist Trainee
    • Now Hiring Therapist Associate >
      • Therapist Associate Application
    • Now Hiring Community Based Therapist
    • Now Hiring Family Support Specialist
    • Now Hiring Assistant Program Manager Supervised Visitation