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Can therapy Help Me?
Picture

Weight Loss Math – Add It In

Candy, soda, smoking, fast food…ever tried to give something up?  How did it work? 

My guess is that it was unpleasant, maybe even torturous, and pathetically unsuccessful. 

The solution? Quit quitting!

That’s right.  For now, we are going to nix the whole notion of giving anything up.   Instead, we are going to start adding things in.  Yes, we are going to do the opposite of "normal" weight loss and dieting, which is based on the concept of taking things away.  (That only causes those yucky feelings of deprivation, anyway!)

No deprivation.  No taking things away; only adding them in.  Let’s take a look at a few things you can start giving yourself today. 

1) Give yourself a mental picture. 
Imagine yourself as a person who doesn’t eat a donut every day, gorge on greasy burgers, or shun the gym.  Imagine yourself as the strong, confident, disciplined person you are becoming.  If you discipline yourself in doing this, you will begin to understand the concept behind the saying, “Mind over matter.”  Don't focus on what you can't have, just think about what you do want and what you can have.

2) Give yourself permission. 
When we take away the “bad” connotations of our worst vice (within reason, of course!), the behavior becomes less taboo, and therefore less tempting.  When you give yourself permission, also give yourself the suggestion that, although you could have it, you simply don’t want it.  “I could have a candy bar right now, but I don’t one.”  Saying this type of sentence quietly to yourself, or even aloud, can have a powerful effect.

3) Give yourself something else to do.
Providing yourself with a replacement behavior will help occupy that empty space that used to be filled with doing the bad habit.  Take a walk, call a friend, gargle with mouthwash, practice deep breathing exercises, read a book, or listen to music.  It may be helpful to write a list when you are feeling strong so that you have something to refer to in a moment of weakness.

4) Give yourself (or someone else) some pampering. 
When our needs for affection, attention or nurturing are not being met, sometimes we behave in ways (albeit misguided) to help us fill the void.  This is often where bad habits come from.
Take care of you.  Send yourself flowers, take a bubble bath, watch your favorite movie, or get a manicure.  Do something that makes you feel special and takes care of your need for nurturing.  Better yet…find someone else who needs some love and care and pamper them with kindness.  (Bonus: you’ll be amazed at how much helping someone else really helps the helper.)

5) Give giving a chance.
Search for deficiencies in your life and add away.  Are you getting enough water?  Add a glass or two per day.  Do you eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables per day?  Add some zucchini and tomato to your spaghetti, or toss some sliced strawberries into your cereal.  Do you have a strong support network?  Make a new friend or call an old one, join a class, send a note to a family member, or invite someone over for dinner.  Do you practice having a positive attitude?  Count your blessings, get a subscription to a quote of the day email, and remind yourself of your positive qualities throughout the day.

When we add to, rather than take away from, we don’t feel deprived.  We feel more empowered to joyfully make decisions that enhance our own well-being.  Sometimes that even includes cutting down on, and then quitting, whatever vice that is thwarting our goal of fitness and good health.

Give these suggestions a try and then give yourself a pat on the back. Giving never felt so good!​

​Back to LifeStyle Guide

This information should not serve as a replacement for therapy.  Please visit the Can Therapy Help Me page for more information if you think you may have an eating disorder, or should require individualized help.
​​

Heal Play Love
Supporting children.
Strengthening families.

Family & Children's Counseling Services

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The persons depicted on this site are models. Photos do not represent or guarantee results.

Therapy services are offered online throughout California and are provided only in jurisdictions where clinicians are appropriately licensed and authorized to practice.

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Professional Association

FCCS is directed by Melinda Haynes, MA, California LMFT-S #102308. Reunification & High-Conflict Family | Court Ordered Therapy in California.

Affiliated Resources

The National Supervised Visitation online training program is a subsidiary of FCCS and can be found at SupervisedVisitationTraining.com.

We are frequently recommended for complex family, reunification, and co-parenting cases in California.

Professional consulting for mental and behavioral health professionals is available at MelindaHaynes.com.

Burn the Ships, written by Melinda Haynes and published by Harbor & Quill, is available at Burn the Ships.

Additional training resources are copyrighted by Harbor & Quill Publishing and Melinda Haynes.

We are honored to help your family heal, play, and love.

© 2026 Family & Children's Counseling Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Heal Play Love
  • Home
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    • Career Center >
      • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
  • About
    • Contact
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Jade Downing Intern Coordinator
      • Tynisha Harris Therapist Trainee
      • Theron Page Therapist Trainee
      • Lina Nevarez Therapist Trainee
      • Daniel Alexander Therapist Trainee
      • Gina Horton Therapist Trainee
      • Shay Walker Therapist Trainee
      • Madison Gingold Therapist Trainee
      • Prayer Noyogiere Therapist Trainee
      • Ashley Postlewaite Therapist Trainee
      • Charlee Haller Therapist Trainee
      • Walter Recinos Therapist Trainee >
        • Walter Recinos Estudiante en prácticas de Trabajo Social Máster en cur
      • Vanessa Mendonca Therapist Trainee >
        • Vanessa Mendonca Terapeuta en formación
      • Indigo Morris Therapist Trainee
      • Deane Brannen-Jurgenson Therapist Trainee
      • Matthew Richmond Therapist Trainee
      • Sydney Walz Therapist Trainee
      • Kaylee Esparza Therapist Trainee
      • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez Therapist Trainee >
        • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez ​Terapeuta en formación
      • Nicole Marcle Therapist Trainee >
        • Nicole Marcle Terapeuta en formación
      • Evelyn Santana Duran Therapist Trainee >
        • Evelyn Santana Duran Terapeuta en formación
      • Morgan Zipperian Therapist Trainee
      • Anthony Flowers Therapist Trainee
      • Becca Raney Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Who We Are >
      • Our History
      • What’s the difference between an MFT (or LMFT), an LPC (or LPCC), and an LCSW?
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
      • Heal Play Love Arizona
    • What We Do >
      • How We CARE
    • Annual Reports
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed >
      • Trauma-Informed Rumor
    • Family Systems Focused
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
    • Helpful Links >
      • Legal Resources in California
      • What’s Next?! A Teen Guide to Identity and Choices
      • Community Services >
        • Community Services- Nationwide
        • Community Services-California
      • Can Therapy Help Me?
      • Can Therapy Help My Child?
      • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
      • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
        • Origins of Attachment Trauma
        • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
        • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
      • 504 Plans
      • Mental Health Apps
      • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
        • California CSD
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Recommended Reading >
        • Why Behavioral Health Providers Exit Public Contracts
      • Weight Management >
        • Why We Develop Bad Habits
        • Diets Don't Work
        • Mapping Out Success
        • Journaling
        • Making New Habits
        • Creating Staying Power
      • Life On Their Terms >
        • Is My Partner Abusive?
        • The Cycle of Violence
        • Dangers of Staying
        • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
      • What is a Treatment Plan?
      • Starving for Intimacy Settling for Sex
      • Of Caterpillars and Courage
      • Feeding Your Family on a Very Tight Budget
      • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Therapy Services
    • Insurance / Fees >
      • Insurance Accepted >
        • PRIME Health Services
        • LA Care Health Plan
        • SAG Aftra Healthplan
        • aetna
        • Partnership Healthplan of California
        • Carelon
        • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
        • CalViva
        • Health Net
        • California Health and Wellness
        • Cigna
        • Magellan Medi-Cal
        • Community Health Plan of Imperial County
        • Molina
        • Molina Medi-Cal
        • Important Note About Insurance
      • Straight Medi-Cal
      • Switching Managed Care Plans
      • Superbills
      • Reduced Fee Therapy
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Areas Served
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Couples Counseling
      • Teen Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
      • Family Preservation
      • Folletos en espanol
    • Court Ordered Therapy >
      • How Court Ordered Therapy Works
      • Court Involved Therapy
      • Terapia Involucrada con el Tribunal
      • Why Social Workers, Attorneys, and Courts Refer to Us
      • Common Questions
      • Reunification Therapy >
        • When Families Reconnect After Long Separation
      • Mental Health Diversion
      • Servicios de Tratamiento de Desvío de Salud Mental
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • Mindfulness
  • Education
    • Individual Learning >
      • Parents and Caregivers
      • Educators
      • Therapists
      • Program Supervisors
      • Attorneys and Legal Professionals
      • Coaches
      • Students Trainees and Interns
      • General Public
    • HPLU YouTube
  • Practicum Program
    • Internship >
      • Common Practicum Site Questions