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WARNING: Some abusers check browser history.  Clear yours for safety.

​
The dangers of staying in an abusive relationship.


​The cycle of violence that occurs in abusive relationships continues to worsen in severity and increase in frequency.  The longer the abuse continues, the worse it gets.  The longer you stay in the violent relationship, the greater your chances for severe injury and death.
 
In addition to the danger of physical injury is the spiritual, emotional and mental damage caused by continued exposure to violence and abuse.  Many women (and their children) suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of this exposure.
 
Living in an abusive home is never good for anyone.  Though it is hard to see when you are in the midst of the relationship, there are other options.  If you are currently being abused, contact your local women’s shelter, police department or victim advocate for help now. 
 
The ‘Other’ Victims
​

Children who witness violence in the home are victims of a secondary form of child abuse because they are exposed to the violence that is perpetrated by their fathers against their mothers.  These children experience many of the same effects as children who are direct victims of the violence. 
 
Children who witness this type of violence are prone to a decreased ability to concentrate, flashbacks, confusion, self-blame, fear, guilt, sleep disturbances, lack of trust, social withdraw and substance abuse.   In addition, these children are learning how to have abusive relationships as adults. 
 
Children who live in homes with domestic violence are also more likely to be abused themselves.  In a national survey, it was found that 50% of the men who abuse their wives also frequently assault their children.  (Templeton, G., 2002)
 
If you are in an abusive relationship and have children, child protective services can take custody of your children.  Please take action to protect them- and you.

Life On Their Terms
Is My Partner Abusive?
​The Cycle of Violence
Dangers of Staying
Healing From an Abusive Relationship

​Online Support, Information and Resources
 
The 12 Step Cyber Café offers excellent online help in recovering from unhealthy relationships.
http://www.12steps.com/
 
National Domestic Violence Hotline site offers a wealth of information on domestic violence and getting help.
http://www.ndvh.org/

Sources:

The Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook, from the Domestic Violence Project of Santa Clara County, CA.
http://www.growing.com/nonviolent/index.htm
 
The Domestic Abuse Intervention Project of Duluth
https://www.theduluthmodel.org/  
The American Psychological Association
http://www.apa.org/releases/facts.html

Heal Play Love
Supporting children.
Strengthening families.

Family & Children's Counseling Services

California 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization

TikTok: @healplaylove

Contact Us

800-430-4490

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After-hours and weekend appointments may be available by appointment.

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Legal Notice

The persons depicted on this site are models. Photos do not represent or guarantee results.

Therapy services are offered online throughout California and are provided only in jurisdictions where clinicians are appropriately licensed and authorized to practice.

This site uses cookies. Your use of this site implies your agreement to the use of cookies. See the Privacy Policy for more information. California residents may also review the California Consumer Privacy Act information.

Professional Association

FCCS is directed by Melinda Haynes, MA, California LMFT-S #102308. Reunification & High-Conflict Family | Court Ordered Therapy in California.

Affiliated Resources

The National Supervised Visitation online training program is a subsidiary of FCCS and can be found at SupervisedVisitationTraining.com.

We are frequently recommended for complex family, reunification, and co-parenting cases in California.

Professional consulting for mental and behavioral health professionals is available at MelindaHaynes.com.

Burn the Ships, written by Melinda Haynes and published by Harbor & Quill, is available at Burn the Ships.

Additional training resources are copyrighted by Harbor & Quill Publishing and Melinda Haynes.

We are honored to help your family heal, play, and love.

© 2026 Family & Children's Counseling Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Heal Play Love
  • Home
    • Schedule a Therapy Appointment
    • Felicitaciones
    • Crisis Information
    • Good Faith Estimate
    • How You Can Help >
      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
    • Mental Health Consumer Rights in California
    • Career Center >
      • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
  • About
    • Contact
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Jade Downing Intern Coordinator
      • Tynisha Harris Therapist Trainee
      • Theron Page Therapist Trainee
      • Lina Nevarez Therapist Trainee
      • Daniel Alexander Therapist Trainee
      • Gina Horton Therapist Trainee
      • Shay Walker Therapist Trainee
      • Madison Gingold Therapist Trainee
      • Prayer Noyogiere Therapist Trainee
      • Ashley Postlewaite Therapist Trainee
      • Charlee Haller Therapist Trainee
      • Sarayu Srinivasan Therapist Trainee
      • Deviane Von Kaenel Therapist Trainee
      • Walter Recinos Therapist Trainee >
        • Walter Recinos Estudiante en prácticas de Trabajo Social Máster en cur
      • Vanessa Mendonca Therapist Trainee >
        • Vanessa Mendonca Terapeuta en formación
      • Tamai Gilbert Therapist Trainee
      • Indigo Morris Therapist Trainee
      • Deane Brannen-Jurgenson Therapist Trainee
      • Matthew Richmond Therapist Trainee
      • Sydney Walz Therapist Trainee
      • Kaylee Esparza Therapist Trainee
      • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez Therapist Trainee >
        • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez ​Terapeuta en formación
      • Nicole Marcle Therapist Trainee >
        • Nicole Marcle Terapeuta en formación
      • Evelyn Santana Duran Therapist Trainee >
        • Evelyn Santana Duran Terapeuta en formación
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Who We Are >
      • Our History
      • What’s the difference between an MFT (or LMFT), an LPC (or LPCC), and an LCSW?
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
      • Heal Play Love Arizona
    • What We Do >
      • How We CARE
    • Annual Reports
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed >
      • Trauma-Informed Rumor
    • Family Systems Focused
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
    • Helpful Links >
      • Legal Resources in California
      • What’s Next?! A Teen Guide to Identity and Choices
      • Community Services >
        • Community Services- Nationwide
        • Community Services-California
      • Can Therapy Help Me?
      • Can Therapy Help My Child?
      • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
      • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
        • Origins of Attachment Trauma
        • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
        • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
      • 504 Plans
      • Mental Health Apps
      • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
        • California CSD
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Recommended Reading >
        • Why Behavioral Health Providers Exit Public Contracts
      • Weight Management >
        • Why We Develop Bad Habits
        • Diets Don't Work
        • Mapping Out Success
        • Journaling
        • Making New Habits
        • Creating Staying Power
      • Life On Their Terms >
        • Is My Partner Abusive?
        • The Cycle of Violence
        • Dangers of Staying
        • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
      • What is a Treatment Plan?
      • Starving for Intimacy Settling for Sex
      • Of Caterpillars and Courage
      • Feeding Your Family on a Very Tight Budget
      • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Therapy Services
    • Insurance / Fees >
      • Insurance Accepted >
        • PRIME Health Services
        • LA Care Health Plan
        • SAG Aftra Healthplan
        • aetna
        • Partnership Healthplan of California
        • Carelon
        • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
        • CalViva
        • Health Net
        • California Health and Wellness
        • Cigna
        • Magellan Medi-Cal
        • Community Health Plan of Imperial County
        • Molina
        • Molina Medi-Cal
        • Important Note About Insurance
      • Superbills
      • Reduced Fee Therapy
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Areas Served
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Couples Counseling
      • Teen Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
      • Family Preservation
      • Folletos en espanol
    • Court Ordered Therapy >
      • How Court Ordered Therapy Works
      • Court Involved Therapy
      • Terapia Involucrada con el Tribunal
      • Why Social Workers, Attorneys, and Courts Refer to Us
      • Common Questions
      • Reunification Therapy >
        • When Families Reconnect After Long Separation
      • Mental Health Diversion
      • Servicios de Tratamiento de Desvío de Salud Mental
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • Mindfulness
  • Education
    • Individual Learning >
      • Parents and Caregivers
      • Educators
      • Therapists
      • Program Supervisors
      • Attorneys and Legal Professionals
      • Coaches
      • Students Trainees and Interns
      • General Public
    • HPLU YouTube
  • Practicum Program
    • Internship >
      • Common Practicum Site Questions