Heal Play Love University- How to Recover from Infidelity PTSD Betrayal Trauma
How to Recover from #Infidelity #PTSD #Affair #betrayaltrauma #cheating #ptsd After Cheating Spouse / Infidelity / Affair- Betrayal Trauma #betrayal #betrayaltrauma
The pain of betrayal is like no other. Without taking anything away from people who have experienced other forms of loss, the pain experienced by a betrayed spouse is oftentimes experienced like that of a death. Betrayed spouses grieve the loss of the person they thought they married, the "we" and "us," the loss of innocence, of the concept of love, the plans for the future, and even the past - and much more. There is the role of husband or wife, the in-tact family, and their entire sense of safety in the world. The list goes on. See Trauma Triggers here https://youtu.be/NfhNzGdKpF8
While life-changing and completely shattering, surviving an affair cannot technically be diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) unless there was also an element of a life being threatened and/or violence involved. That is a violation of experience for those of us who have been betrayed. The flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, nightmares, panicked attempts to avoid triggers, anger and depression seem like a clear PTSD diagnosis. In short, life after betrayal is hell.
At least for a while. And, if nothing else, we can at least call it post infidelity stress disorder or post infidelity depression. Neither of those are actual DSM diagnoses and it actually helps to have a recognized name to something we KNOW is happening. The pain of betrayal, the lies, the lost sense of love - of thinking you knew what love was. The defiled marital bed. The lost trust. All of it is overwhelming to the psyche and emotions. It's too much to take in and to process.
This is why it is a trauma. The pain and situation overwhelm the mind, body and spirit's ability to manage it. There are several books on the market and websites available to help people who have experienced the pain of betrayal. If you have a good suggestion, please post it in the comment section.
One of my recommendations is Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Fisher and Alberti. As the name implies, it is for people who are experiencing the ending of a relationship and not for those who wish to stay in the marriage / relationship after said affair.
Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis Ortman, Phd is another resource. This book is, at its name implies, directed to those who have been through the pain of betrayal and have somehow lived to read about it. https://www.amazon.com/Transcending-Post-infidelity-Stress-Disorder-PISD/dp/1587613344 If you have suffered due to the choices of an unfaithful spouse, please seek help and support. You can survive and come out stronger. However, it's a difficult journey that may require some loving support from friends, family and a therapist.
Heal Play Love University (formerly Can We Talk) is a therapy channel on youtube where we discuss, well... therapy stuff. Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), Director & Clinical Supervisor, Melinda Haynes will discuss random topics and answer questions.
Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT lic no 102308 Author and Instructor for the first online National Supervised Visitation Monitor Certification, a training course for future providers of court-ordered visitation https://www.supervisedvisitationtraining.com/
Questions you would like answered in a video? Contact me at [email protected]
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Heal Play Love University (formerly 'Can We Talk?') is a youtube channel dedicated to psychology, therapy, relationships, healthy living, well-being and the like.
This channel should not be considered therapy, nor a substitute for therapy. If you need help with any mental, emotional, family or relational struggle, please seek help from a qualified professional in your area.
