Heal Play Love University- I Want a Separation. How to separate from a Narcissist
I Want a Separation. How to separate from a Narcissist.
Temporary Separation from the Narcissist. Preparing for a time out or Separation from the Narcissist?
You may find it necessary to separate yourself from the Narcissist for a time. This provides him or her with an opportunity to calm down and re-think their behaviors. It provides you a reprieve from difficult interactions and a chance to gain some perspective.
When you do this, set either a time (6 weeks) or a specific event (such as a written plan of action from the Narcissist, detailing how they will handle very strong emotions in the future). Keep in mind that you are not separating to punish.
That kind of mentality doesn’t work for healing. You also don’t want to give an unrealistic time or specific event like you are completely cured from your personality disorder. Severe consequences and ultimatums tend to trigger all kinds of things in all kinds of people – not just Narcissists. Stay gentle yet firm in your approach.
Remind him or her that you are willing to work things out and are looking forward to a healthy conversation. I know it seems unfair that you have to be the adult when the Narcissist can act like a child. But keep in mind, the Narcissist’s coping skills and emotional responses are childlike. I don’t say this to ridicule, only to clarify.
We need to stay calm and centered in our true self. We must know what a healthy boundary is and understand that we, the probably healthier person in the relationship, need to hold that boundary.
Wait for the Narcissist to engage in productive conversations with you and to demonstrate respectful behaviors- then slowly let the Narcissist back into your daily life. Expect that you may have to repeat this process several times.
If that’s not something you are willing to do- do not threaten it. Threatening to do something then not doing it only reinforces the Narcissist’s behavior. They think, “Oh, she always says that” or “He’s been threatening to leave for years, he’s not going to.” We teach them that we don’t mean what we say.
Narcissistic Abuse- While I advocate for a different look at Narcissism, I do not condone abuse. If you are being abused by a Narcissist - or anyone, for that matter, get out when it is safe and seek the help of a qualified professional!
Heal Play Love University (formerly Can We Talk) is a therapy channel on youtube where we discuss, well... therapy stuff. Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), Director & Clinical Supervisor, Melinda Haynes will discuss random topics and answer questions.
Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT lic no 102308 Author and Instructor for the first online National Supervised Visitation Monitor Certification, a training course for future providers of court-ordered visitation https://www.supervisedvisitationtraining.com/
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Heal Play Love University (formerly 'Can We Talk?') is a youtube channel dedicated to psychology, therapy, relationships, healthy living, well-being and the like.
This channel should not be considered therapy, nor a substitute for therapy. If you need help with any mental, emotional, family or relational struggle, please seek help from a qualified professional in your area.
