FAMILY & CHILDREN'S COUNSELING SERVICES, INC.
  • Home
    • Schedule a Therapy Appointment
    • Felicitaciones
    • Crisis Information
    • Good Faith Estimate
    • How You Can Help >
      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
    • Mental Health Consumer Rights in California
    • Career Center >
      • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
  • About
    • Contact
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Jade Downing Intern Coordinator
      • Tynisha Harris Therapist Trainee
      • Theron Page Therapist Trainee
      • Lina Nevarez Therapist Trainee
      • Daniel Alexander Therapist Trainee
      • Gina Horton Therapist Trainee
      • Shay Walker Therapist Trainee
      • Madison Gingold Therapist Trainee
      • Prayer Noyogiere Therapist Trainee
      • Ashley Postlewaite Therapist Trainee
      • Charlee Haller Therapist Trainee
      • Walter Recinos Therapist Trainee >
        • Walter Recinos Estudiante en prácticas de Trabajo Social Máster en cur
      • Vanessa Mendonca Therapist Trainee >
        • Vanessa Mendonca Terapeuta en formación
      • Indigo Morris Therapist Trainee
      • Deane Brannen-Jurgenson Therapist Trainee
      • Matthew Richmond Therapist Trainee
      • Sydney Walz Therapist Trainee
      • Kaylee Esparza Therapist Trainee
      • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez Therapist Trainee >
        • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez ​Terapeuta en formación
      • Nicole Marcle Therapist Trainee >
        • Nicole Marcle Terapeuta en formación
      • Evelyn Santana Duran Therapist Trainee >
        • Evelyn Santana Duran Terapeuta en formación
      • Morgan Zipperian Therapist Trainee
      • Anthony Flowers Therapist Trainee
      • Becca Raney Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Who We Are >
      • Our History
      • What’s the difference between an MFT (or LMFT), an LPC (or LPCC), and an LCSW?
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
      • Heal Play Love Arizona
    • What We Do >
      • How We CARE
    • Annual Reports
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed >
      • Trauma-Informed Rumor
    • Family Systems Focused
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
    • Helpful Links >
      • Legal Resources in California
      • What’s Next?! A Teen Guide to Identity and Choices
      • Community Services >
        • Community Services- Nationwide
        • Community Services-California
      • Can Therapy Help Me?
      • Can Therapy Help My Child?
      • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
      • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
        • Origins of Attachment Trauma
        • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
        • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
      • 504 Plans
      • Mental Health Apps
      • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
        • California CSD
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Recommended Reading >
        • Why Behavioral Health Providers Exit Public Contracts
      • Weight Management >
        • Why We Develop Bad Habits
        • Diets Don't Work
        • Mapping Out Success
        • Journaling
        • Making New Habits
        • Creating Staying Power
      • Life On Their Terms >
        • Is My Partner Abusive?
        • The Cycle of Violence
        • Dangers of Staying
        • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
      • What is a Treatment Plan?
      • Starving for Intimacy Settling for Sex
      • Of Caterpillars and Courage
      • Feeding Your Family on a Very Tight Budget
      • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Therapy Services
    • Insurance / Fees >
      • Insurance Accepted >
        • PRIME Health Services
        • LA Care Health Plan
        • SAG Aftra Healthplan
        • aetna
        • Partnership Healthplan of California
        • Carelon
        • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
        • CalViva
        • Health Net
        • California Health and Wellness
        • Cigna
        • Magellan Medi-Cal
        • Community Health Plan of Imperial County
        • Molina
        • Molina Medi-Cal
        • Important Note About Insurance
      • Straight Medi-Cal
      • Switching Managed Care Plans
      • Superbills
      • Reduced Fee Therapy
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Areas Served
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Couples Counseling
      • Teen Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
      • Family Preservation
      • Folletos en espanol
    • Court Ordered Therapy >
      • How Court Ordered Therapy Works
      • Court Involved Therapy
      • Terapia Involucrada con el Tribunal
      • Why Social Workers, Attorneys, and Courts Refer to Us
      • Common Questions
      • Reunification Therapy >
        • When Families Reconnect After Long Separation
      • Mental Health Diversion
      • Servicios de Tratamiento de Desvío de Salud Mental
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • Mindfulness
  • Education
    • Individual Learning >
      • Parents and Caregivers
      • Educators
      • Therapists
      • Program Supervisors
      • Attorneys and Legal Professionals
      • Coaches
      • Students Trainees and Interns
      • General Public
    • HPLU YouTube
  • Practicum Program
    • Internship >
      • Common Practicum Site Questions


​Heal Play Love University- Unmasking The Fragile Ego: The Truth About Blame Shifting #blameshifting #gaslightingawareness
​​

Blame shifting, a fragile ego, black or white thinking, magical thinking. Life with the Narcissist can be confusing. Why does the Narcissist refuse to take responsibility for wrongdoing?

How easy is it to say, "My bad" or "I'm sorry"? Why can't the Narcissist just do that?! Licensed Therapist Melinda Haynes explains some possible reasons.
 
Why Does the Narcissist Blame-Shift / Refuse to Accept ANY Responsibility?
0:00 intro and disclosure
0:13 number one reason
1:23 second reason
3:04 third reason
5:09 closing

Also watch DESTROYING the Narcissist's Power https://youtu.be/UQBJmy8CoNY

And How to Unhook Yourself from the Narcissist's Power https://youtu.be/umjYEBY8CgM

While I advocate for a different look at Narcissism, I do not condone abuse. Narcissistic Abuse is not okay. If you are being abused by a Narcissist - or anyone for that matter- get out when it is safe and seek the help of a qualified professional!

Shout out to…Sigmund Freud https://www.verywellmind.com/ego-strength-2795169

Jean Piaget https://www.simplypsychology.org/piaget.html

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: (1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) (2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) (4) requires excessive admiration (5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations (6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends (7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others (8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her (9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

 
Heal Play Love University (formerly Can We Talk) is a therapy channel on youtube where we discuss, well... therapy stuff. Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), Director & Clinical Supervisor, Melinda Haynes will discuss random topics and answer questions.
 
Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT lic no 102308 Author and Instructor for the first online National Supervised Visitation Monitor Certification, a training course for future providers of court-ordered visitation https://www.supervisedvisitationtraining.com/  
Questions you would like answered in a video? Contact me at [email protected]
 
Connect on social media:
X https://twitter.com/healplayandlove
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/HealPlayandLove/
 
Heal Play Love University (formerly 'Can We Talk?') is a youtube channel dedicated to psychology, therapy, relationships, healthy living, well-being and the like.
 
This channel should not be considered therapy, nor a substitute for therapy. If you need help with any mental, emotional, family or relational struggle, please seek help from a qualified professional in your area.
 
#emotionalabuse #covertnarcissism #healplayloveuniversity

Picture
Heal Play Love
Supporting children.
Strengthening families.

Family & Children's Counseling Services

California 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization

TikTok: @healplaylove

Contact Us

800-430-4490

Monday–Friday
9 am–6 pm

After-hours and weekend appointments may be available by appointment.

Billing:
[email protected]

Practicum:
[email protected]

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Meet Our Team
  • Therapy Services
  • Education & Training
  • Practicum Program

Helpful Resources

  • Crisis Information
  • Current Client Log In
  • Heal Play Love University
  • Find a Therapist

Legal Notice

The persons depicted on this site are models. Photos do not represent or guarantee results.

Therapy services are offered online throughout California and are provided only in jurisdictions where clinicians are appropriately licensed and authorized to practice.

This site uses cookies. Your use of this site implies your agreement to the use of cookies. See the Privacy Policy for more information. California residents may also review the California Consumer Privacy Act information.

Professional Association

FCCS is directed by Melinda Haynes, MA, California LMFT-S #102308. Reunification & High-Conflict Family | Court Ordered Therapy in California.

Affiliated Resources

The National Supervised Visitation online training program is a subsidiary of FCCS and can be found at SupervisedVisitationTraining.com.

We are frequently recommended for complex family, reunification, and co-parenting cases in California.

Professional consulting for mental and behavioral health professionals is available at MelindaHaynes.com.

Burn the Ships, written by Melinda Haynes and published by Harbor & Quill, is available at Burn the Ships.

Additional training resources are copyrighted by Harbor & Quill Publishing and Melinda Haynes.

We are honored to help your family heal, play, and love.

© 2026 Family & Children's Counseling Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Heal Play Love
  • Home
    • Schedule a Therapy Appointment
    • Felicitaciones
    • Crisis Information
    • Good Faith Estimate
    • How You Can Help >
      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
    • Mental Health Consumer Rights in California
    • Career Center >
      • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
  • About
    • Contact
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Jade Downing Intern Coordinator
      • Tynisha Harris Therapist Trainee
      • Theron Page Therapist Trainee
      • Lina Nevarez Therapist Trainee
      • Daniel Alexander Therapist Trainee
      • Gina Horton Therapist Trainee
      • Shay Walker Therapist Trainee
      • Madison Gingold Therapist Trainee
      • Prayer Noyogiere Therapist Trainee
      • Ashley Postlewaite Therapist Trainee
      • Charlee Haller Therapist Trainee
      • Walter Recinos Therapist Trainee >
        • Walter Recinos Estudiante en prácticas de Trabajo Social Máster en cur
      • Vanessa Mendonca Therapist Trainee >
        • Vanessa Mendonca Terapeuta en formación
      • Indigo Morris Therapist Trainee
      • Deane Brannen-Jurgenson Therapist Trainee
      • Matthew Richmond Therapist Trainee
      • Sydney Walz Therapist Trainee
      • Kaylee Esparza Therapist Trainee
      • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez Therapist Trainee >
        • Erendira (Ella) Gutierrez ​Terapeuta en formación
      • Nicole Marcle Therapist Trainee >
        • Nicole Marcle Terapeuta en formación
      • Evelyn Santana Duran Therapist Trainee >
        • Evelyn Santana Duran Terapeuta en formación
      • Morgan Zipperian Therapist Trainee
      • Anthony Flowers Therapist Trainee
      • Becca Raney Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Who We Are >
      • Our History
      • What’s the difference between an MFT (or LMFT), an LPC (or LPCC), and an LCSW?
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
      • Heal Play Love Arizona
    • What We Do >
      • How We CARE
    • Annual Reports
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed >
      • Trauma-Informed Rumor
    • Family Systems Focused
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
    • Helpful Links >
      • Legal Resources in California
      • What’s Next?! A Teen Guide to Identity and Choices
      • Community Services >
        • Community Services- Nationwide
        • Community Services-California
      • Can Therapy Help Me?
      • Can Therapy Help My Child?
      • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
      • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
        • Origins of Attachment Trauma
        • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
        • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
      • 504 Plans
      • Mental Health Apps
      • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
        • California CSD
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Recommended Reading >
        • Why Behavioral Health Providers Exit Public Contracts
      • Weight Management >
        • Why We Develop Bad Habits
        • Diets Don't Work
        • Mapping Out Success
        • Journaling
        • Making New Habits
        • Creating Staying Power
      • Life On Their Terms >
        • Is My Partner Abusive?
        • The Cycle of Violence
        • Dangers of Staying
        • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
      • What is a Treatment Plan?
      • Starving for Intimacy Settling for Sex
      • Of Caterpillars and Courage
      • Feeding Your Family on a Very Tight Budget
      • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Therapy Services
    • Insurance / Fees >
      • Insurance Accepted >
        • PRIME Health Services
        • LA Care Health Plan
        • SAG Aftra Healthplan
        • aetna
        • Partnership Healthplan of California
        • Carelon
        • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
        • CalViva
        • Health Net
        • California Health and Wellness
        • Cigna
        • Magellan Medi-Cal
        • Community Health Plan of Imperial County
        • Molina
        • Molina Medi-Cal
        • Important Note About Insurance
      • Straight Medi-Cal
      • Switching Managed Care Plans
      • Superbills
      • Reduced Fee Therapy
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Areas Served
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Couples Counseling
      • Teen Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
      • Family Preservation
      • Folletos en espanol
    • Court Ordered Therapy >
      • How Court Ordered Therapy Works
      • Court Involved Therapy
      • Terapia Involucrada con el Tribunal
      • Why Social Workers, Attorneys, and Courts Refer to Us
      • Common Questions
      • Reunification Therapy >
        • When Families Reconnect After Long Separation
      • Mental Health Diversion
      • Servicios de Tratamiento de Desvío de Salud Mental
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • Mindfulness
  • Education
    • Individual Learning >
      • Parents and Caregivers
      • Educators
      • Therapists
      • Program Supervisors
      • Attorneys and Legal Professionals
      • Coaches
      • Students Trainees and Interns
      • General Public
    • HPLU YouTube
  • Practicum Program
    • Internship >
      • Common Practicum Site Questions