Heal Play Love University- Lack of Empathy of the Narcissist (It’s Not What You Think)
Lack of Empathy of the Narcissist (It’s Not What You Think)
We know of the Narcissist’s emotional distancing - the lack of empathy, the uncaring, cold heart.
Have you ever said My husband is a jerk or my wife is uncaring? Why are they like this? Do they lack a conscience? Are they without a soul? Are they experiencing empathy impairment?
For the Narcissist, lack of empathy is a defense mechanism. A survival tool.
They are so covered in their own pain, it’s impossible to see the pain of others. If you’ve ever been in severe physical or emotional pain, you know what I’m talking about. There are times in life where our pain is so intense, we are basically blinded by it.
That is their existence.
existence they try to deny. And if they do see the pain of others, it only reminds them of their own pain they are trying to hide.
So your pain does hurt them- but not in a way that they understand and relate to you- but rather, in a way that is irritating because it triggers the pain they have been covering up.
Your pain reminds them of their pain- and their pain is related to shame…. So your pain triggers their shame which triggers their fight or flight – which is in the base / reptile brain.
I’ve created a flow chart to provide a visual of this. I will put a link to it in the description. Check it out and let me know what you think? Does this make sense? Do you disagree? Post a comment!
I have other videos related to trauma and shame in Narcissism. Please check them out. And if you don’t mind, like and subscribe! 😊
Thank you for watching!
Narcissistic Abuse
While I advocate for a different look at Narcissism, I do not condone abuse. If you are being abused by a Narcissist - or anyone, for that matter, get out when it is safe and seek the help of a qualified professional!
Shout out to: Bessel Van der Kolk The Body Keeps the Score, https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score
Dan Siegel The Developing Mind https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-developing-mind/
Heal Play Love University (formerly Can We Talk) is a therapy channel on youtube where we discuss, well... therapy stuff. Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), Director & Clinical Supervisor, Melinda Haynes will discuss random topics and answer questions.
Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT lic no 102308 Author and Instructor for the first online National Supervised Visitation Monitor Certification, a training course for future providers of court-ordered visitation https://www.supervisedvisitationtraining.com/
Questions you would like answered in a video? Contact me at [email protected]
Connect on social media:
X https://twitter.com/healplayandlove
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/HealPlayandLove/
Heal Play Love University (formerly 'Can We Talk?') is a youtube channel dedicated to psychology, therapy, relationships, healthy living, well-being and the like.
This channel should not be considered therapy, nor a substitute for therapy. If you need help with any mental, emotional, family or relational struggle, please seek help from a qualified professional in your area.
