FAMILY & CHILDREN'S COUNSELING SERVICES, INC.
  • Home
    • Crisis Information
    • Good Faith Estimate
    • How You Can Help >
      • Volunteer Opportunities
      • Social Media Support
      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to Our Equipment and Supplies Fund
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
  • About
    • Areas Served
    • Contact >
      • Referral Request
      • Satisfaction Survey
    • Brochures
    • Folletos en espanol
    • Who We Are >
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
    • What We Do
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Bryony Hottendorf - Human Resources Assistant
      • Roxanna Taylor- Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Roxanna Taylor- General Assistant Therapy Program
      • Leslie Martinez Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Kasandra Estrada
      • Erica Washington, MSW, ACSW Associate Clinical Social Worker 95523
      • Tiffany Runge, AMFT 112914
      • Emily Medina, MS, LMFT 134196
      • Tyree Griffith MS APCC 7863
      • Lizvet Garcia Therapist Trainee
      • Julianna Hopkins Therapist Trainee
      • Lizbeth Brito Therapist Trainee >
        • Lizbeth Brito aprendiz de terapeuta
      • Katie Servin Therapist Trainee >
        • Katie Servin ASL Therapist Trainee
      • Amber McGuire Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Our History
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
  • Services
    • Coaching >
      • Reunification Coaching
      • Co-Parenting | Parallel Parenting Coaching
      • Parent Skills Coaching
      • Kids Behavior Coaching
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Teen Therapy
      • Reunification Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • LGBTQAI+ Counseling
      • Christian Counseling
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Multi-Sensory Integration
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • EMDR
      • School Based Family Counseling >
        • For Schools and Districts- PBIS Partners
      • E-Motion >
        • Movement- Stored Trauma Therapy
      • Mindfulness
    • Supervised Visitation >
      • Online Visits
      • Getting Started
      • Facilitated Visitation
      • Monitored Exchange
    • Family Preservation
    • Groups >
      • Confident Kids
      • Productive Parenting
    • Daycare / School- Based Services
    • Associate Clinical Supervision
    • Workshops
    • Online Learning Center >
      • Become a Supervised Visitation Monitor
    • PBIS Partners >
      • Why Do We Have Empty Chairs?
      • Signs A Student May Benefit
      • Why Should My School Collaborate with FCCS?
      • School-Based Services May Include
  • Insurance / Fees
    • Insurance Accepted >
      • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
      • TriCare
      • Health Net
      • California Health and Wellness
      • Cigna
      • aetna
      • Molina
      • Molina Medi-Cal
      • Kaiser
      • Victim-Witness
      • Cash Pay
      • Important Note About Insurance
    • Superbills
    • Reduced Fee Therapy
  • Helpful Links
    • Legal Resources in California
    • Community Services >
      • Community Services- Butte County California
      • Community Services- Sacramento County California
      • Community Services- San Diego County California
      • Community Services- Orange County California
    • Can Therapy Help Me?
    • Can Therapy Help My Child?
    • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
    • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
      • Origins of Attachment Trauma
      • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
      • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
    • Mental Health Apps
    • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
      • California CSD
    • Places to Go- Family Fun >
      • Places to Go in Texas
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Places to Go in North Carolina
      • Places to Go in Oklahoma >
        • Places to Go in Tulsa, Oklahoma
        • Places to Go in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
    • Recommended Reading
    • Celebrity Psychology
    • Weight Management >
      • Why We Develop Bad Habits
      • Diets Don't Work
      • Mapping Out Success
      • Journaling
      • Making New Habits
      • Creating Staying Power
    • Can We Talk?
    • Life On Their Terms >
      • Is My Partner Abusive?
      • The Cycle of Violence
      • Dangers of Staying
      • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
    • What is a Treatment Plan?
    • Of Caterpillars and Courage
    • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Career Center
    • What We Offer
    • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
    • Practicum Site - Therapist Trainee
    • Now Hiring Therapist Associate >
      • Therapist Associate Application
    • Now Hiring Community Based Therapist
    • Now Hiring Family Support Specialist
    • Now Hiring Assistant Program Manager Supervised Visitation
Back to Guide


Move Those Motivation Muscles
​

Through the good days and bad days; the ups and the downs; the temptations, struggles and setbacks, it is sometimes difficult to get and stay motivated.  Notice: difficult; not impossible.  We all have the ability to overcome apathy and stay in a place of motivation, a key factor in living a Lifelong LifeStyle Mentality.
 
I’m not talking about the kind of motivation that says, “I’d like to have this some day,” or “Wouldn’t it be nice?” or “I wish…”  I’m talking about the kind of motivation that does not take “No” for an answer; the kind of motivation that never settles for less.  This is the motivation that gets you out of bed in the morning, guides you throughout your day… your drive.  Your commitment to yourself and to reaching your goals must be complete and absolute.  It must be a burning desire that lives inside of you. 
 
I’m Worth It!
 
You must believe that you deserve to reach your goal.  You must believe that there is no other option but to reach your goal.  Eliminate all other possibilities and back up plans from your mind.  Resolve yourself to reaching your goal even if it takes you the rest of your life.  While you’re at it, change your mind- from fat to healthy, from out of shape to in shape from failure to success. 
 
Rather than focusing on reasons why you can’t; focus on reasons why you can, will and must reach your goal.
 
This type of powerful enthusiasm is not reserved for a select few.  The potential for this type of passion exists right now in you.  You just need to tap into it.  The first step is to tackle the origins of lack of motivation.  Discuss the following questions with a friend, partner, or during group meetings:
 
- Am I burdened with distractions (a troubled relationship, drug or alcohol use, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, or the daily demands of life)?
- Am I prone to engaging in self-defeating or self-destructive beliefs and behaviors (fear of failure, fear of success, eating disorders, a lack of confidence, or other emotional problems)?
- Do I have a lack of desire or interest (a lack of clear, defined short and long term goals; a belief, conscious or subconscious that good health is not really important to me; a general understanding that good health is not a priority among my friends or family)?
- Am I dieting and exercising for the wrong reasons (to find a mate, to make people like me, thinking it will solve all of my social or personal problems, thinking fitness is a means to an ends rather than a lifestyle)?
- Do I have any physical, medical or physiological concerns that need to be addressed (inadequate amounts of sleep and rest, high levels of stress, poor nutrition, any medical conditions, chemical imbalances)?
 
Digging Deep
 
Once we have identified those barriers, we can address each one individually.  Discuss the following questions:
 
- What are the ways I can minimize my distractions (allowing myself a mental and emotional “time-out” from relationship woes, entering a treatment program, working on decision making skills or assertiveness, practicing relaxation techniques, delegating responsibilities)?
- What are some techniques I can use to overcome my self-defeating habits so that I can focus on the positive aspects of my life (prayer, Scripture memorization, meditation, journaling, counseling, self-forgiveness, positive self-talk, plain old fashioned practice)?
- What can I do to increase my desire and improve goal setting skills (visualization, writing my goals down on paper, posting my goals where I will see them every day, taking ‘baby steps’ and rewarding myself for them, making new friends, making the conscious choice to make health a priority in my life)?
- What are some ways to solve the non-weight-related problems I am trying to correct with dieting and exercise (networking with friends, joining a club or taking a class, going on group dates, inviting friends over for dinner or game night, resolving to talk out any relational problems with a friend, family member or mate)?
- How can I most effectively address any physical, medical, or physiological concerns (consult a medical doctor, sleep specialist or nutritionist; create an individualized plan of action for each concern or issue)?
 
The Right Stuff
 
The next step in staying motivated is to find the right motivation for you. This has to come from deep within; a highly personal, individualized reason why YOU want to lose weight and get in shape. 
 
Do any of these reasons match your motivation?  Circle or highlight the ones that are important to you:

- get rid of that jiggle
- increase your muscle tone
- fit into a smaller size
- improve or eliminate a medical condition
- be around (and healthy enough) to enjoy your children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren
- be able to do 20, 30 or 40 push ups
- complete that 5K, 10K or 20K run
- look and feel great (or at least comfortable!) in your swim suit this summer
- rid yourself of that nagging inner voice that keeps telling you to improve your health
- feel a sense of accomplishment
- set a good example for family members
 
What are the reasons why you personally want to lose weight, firm up, get in shape, and be physically fit?  Write them down.  Post them in a prominent place. Think about them.  Set goals concerning them.  Remind yourself that the “pain” of cutting down on sweets or increasing your activity level is far better than the pain you may endure if you do not reach those goals.
 
Keeping It Up
 
The final step is keeping it up.  Getting and staying motivated takes work.  Consider the following questions:
 
- Will I show up to an aerobics (weight training, spinning, etc.) class more often if I know someone is waiting there for me?
- Will I benefit from hiring a personal trainer to assist me in my fitness goals?
- Does the idea of learning a new dance, activity, or sport interest me?
- Am I setting realistic, challenging, specific, and measurable goals?
- Do I reward myself for reaching my goals? (note: rewards should not be food-related)
- Are my rewards inspiring?
- Have I made a personal commitment to myself to stick to my plan of achieving weight loss success?
- Am I able to forgive myself and move on after I’ve “blown it”?
- Am I in this for the “long haul,” regardless of low-motivation days and other setbacks?
 
What other motivators can you put to use?  

Review previous weeks until you know them by heart. Let this stuff sink into your very being.  It's part of who you are- a healthy person.  Remember, we are aiming for progress, not perfection- keep going!  

Back to LifeStyle Guide

This information should not serve as a replacement for therapy.  Please visit the Can Therapy Help Me page for more information if you think you may have an eating disorder, or should require individualized help.
​
​​

HELPING FAMILIES HEAL, PLAY AND LOVE!


Hours

M-F: 9am - 6pm 
After hours and weekends by appointment 

Telephone

800-430-4490
or go to Meet Us for individual direct contact

Email

info@healplaylove.org
or go to Contact for
department contact
Various legal disclaimers: The persons depicted on this site are models.  Photos do not represent or guarantee results.  Contact for service areas.  This site uses cookies. Your use of this site implies your agreement to the use of cookies. See Privacy Policy for more information.  California residents see the California Consumer Privacy Act.

FCCS is directed by Melinda Haynes, MA, California LMFT 102308.  Oklahoma LMFT 1153. North Carolina LMFT 2143.

We provide therapy for various trauma issues including absent parent, parent in prison, violence, witnessing violence, domestic violence, tragedy, murder,, witness to murder, grief, loss,, death, friend killed, violence in neighborhood, fear, first responder, vicarious trauma, nightmares, panic.

​The National Supervised Visitation online training program is a subsidiary of FCCS and can be found at 
https://www.SupervisedVisitationTraining.com.  Professional consulting for mental and behavioral health professionals is available at www.MelindaHaynes.com.  



Providing Therapy Services in: Los Angeles | San Diego | San Francisco | San Jose | Fresno | Long Beach | Sacramento | Oakland | Santa Ana | Anaheim | Riverside | Stockton | Manteca | Chula Vista | Fremont | Irvine | San Bernadino | Modesto | Oxnard | Fontana | Moreno Valley | Glendale | Huntington Beach | Santa Clarita |  Garden Grove | Santa Rosa | Oceanside | Rancho Cucamonga | Ontario | Lancaster | Elk Grove | Palmdale | Corona | Salinas | Pomona | Torrance | Hayward | Escondido | Pasadena |  Orange | Fullerton | Thousand Oaks | Visalia | Simi Valley | Concord | Roseville | Santa Clara | Vallejo | Victorville | El Monte | Berkeley | Downey | Costa Mesa | Inglewood | Ventura | West Covina | Norwalk | Carlsbad | Fairfield | Richmond | Murrieta | Burbank | Antioch | Daly City | Temecula | Santa Maria | El Cajon | Rialto | Clovis | San Mateo | Compton | South Gate | Vista | Mission Viejo | Vacaville | Carson | Hesperia | Redding | Santa Monica | Westminster | Santa Barbara | Chico | Whittier | Newport Beach | San Leandro | Hawthorne | San Marcos | Citrus Heights | Alhambra | Tracy | Livermore | Buena Park | Lakewood | Merced | Hemet | Chino | Menifee | Napa

Therapy #therapy #saturdaytherapy #weekendtherapy #afterhourstherapy #therapistnearme #besttherapist #blackmentalhealth #minoritymentalhealth #californiahealthandwellness #psychotherapist #childtherapy #childtherapist #familytherapist #teentherapy #mentalhealth #playtherapy #depression #anxiety #adhd #add #odd #separationanxiety #managingbehavior #behaviortoolbox #blackmaletherapist #healplaylove #counseling #familycounseling #childcounseling #BlackTherapistsMatter #teencounseling #parentchildtherapy #therapyworks #therapyhelps #BlackTherapist #blackmentalhealthmatters #healing #journey #betterhelp #mindfulness #CBT #associate #associateship #amft #apcc #acsw #intern #supervision #amftsupervision #therapyforblackgirls #EMDR #LGBTQItherapy #couplescounseling #familyandchildrenscounseling #bestchildtherapistnearme #findaprovidernearme #therapyforblackmen #therapyforblackwomen #coparenting #parallelparenting #sextherapist #infertilitytherapist #childtherapist #pediatrictherapist #behaviortherapist

Coaching #coach #coaching #lifecoaching #parentcoaching #parentcoach #parentingskills #parentskillscoach #coparent #coparenting #parallelparenting #parallelparentingcoach #coparentcoaching #coparentcoach #reunification #reunificationcoaching #reunificationcoach 
#coaching #coach #motivation #mindset #training #inspiration #success #lifestyle #lifecoaching #mindfulness #goals #parenting 

Supervised Visitation #supervisedvisitation #parentingtime #supervisedvisitationnetwork #sharedcustody #courtorder #courtorderedvisitation #monitoredvisits #supervisedvisits #monitoredparentingtime #parentingtime

Insurance #tricare #medicaid #healthnet #aetna #cigna #californiahealthwellness #CHW 

Practicum / Internship #internship #associate #intern #APE #practicum #trainee #practicumsite #healthcare #healthcareadministration #hca #therapy #therapistassociate #newtherapist 
#HCMKTG (healthcare marketing) #HCSM (healthcare social media) #HealthIT (Health information technology) #MedEd (medical education) #education #beauty #family #homecare #staysafe #physician #nutrition #digitalhealth #seniorcare #healthylife #hospitals #life #technology #motivation #healthandwellness #lifestyle #patientcare #business #insurance #stayhealthy #university #digitalmarketing #instagram #technology #engineering #experience #learning #webinar #employment #internship #success #graduate #placement #careergoals #applynow #jobseekers #love #instagood #fashion #photooftheday #beautiful #art #photography #happy 

Try finding a therapist near me -  See our areas served. 

Find the best  Medi-Cal medicaid therapist by going to your county link. These links will take you off the Family & Children's Counseling Services, Inc. website. 


Alameda | Alpine | Amador | Butte | Calaveras | Colusa |  ContraCosta | DelNorte | ElDorado |  Fresno | Glenn | Humboldt | Imperial | Inyo | Kern | Kings | Lake | Lassen | LosAngeles |  Madera | Marin | Mariposa | Mendocino | Merced | Modoc | Mono | Monterey | Napa | Nevada | Orange | Placer | Plumas | Riverside | Sa​cra​mento| San Benito | San Bernardino | San Diego | San Francisco | San Joaquin | San Luis Obispo | San Mateo | Santa Barbara | Santa Clara |  SantaCruz | Shasta | Sierra | Siskiyou | Solano | Sonoma | Stanislaus | Sutter | Tehama | Trinity | Tulare | Tuolumne | Ventura | Yolo | Yuba    
"Best child therapy" read here.   
"Best child therapist near me" read here 
"Best therapist near me" read here.
How do I find the best child therapist for my child read here.

  • Home
    • Crisis Information
    • Good Faith Estimate
    • How You Can Help >
      • Volunteer Opportunities
      • Social Media Support
      • Donate >
        • Sponsor a Child, Parent or Family
        • Donate to Our Equipment and Supplies Fund
        • Donate to the General Fund
    • Privacy Policy
    • California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA)
    • Consumer Privacy HIPAA
  • About
    • Areas Served
    • Contact >
      • Referral Request
      • Satisfaction Survey
    • Brochures
    • Folletos en espanol
    • Who We Are >
      • What is a Trainee, Associate
    • What We Do
    • Meet Our Team >
      • Bryony Hottendorf - Human Resources Assistant
      • Roxanna Taylor- Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Roxanna Taylor- General Assistant Therapy Program
      • Leslie Martinez Supervised Visitation Monitor
      • Kasandra Estrada
      • Erica Washington, MSW, ACSW Associate Clinical Social Worker 95523
      • Tiffany Runge, AMFT 112914
      • Emily Medina, MS, LMFT 134196
      • Tyree Griffith MS APCC 7863
      • Lizvet Garcia Therapist Trainee
      • Julianna Hopkins Therapist Trainee
      • Lizbeth Brito Therapist Trainee >
        • Lizbeth Brito aprendiz de terapeuta
      • Katie Servin Therapist Trainee >
        • Katie Servin ASL Therapist Trainee
      • Amber McGuire Therapist Trainee
      • Melinda Haynes, MA, LMFT. Executive Director
    • Our History
    • As Seen On
    • Trauma-Informed
    • Mission Vision Philosophy
    • Values
  • Services
    • Coaching >
      • Reunification Coaching
      • Co-Parenting | Parallel Parenting Coaching
      • Parent Skills Coaching
      • Kids Behavior Coaching
    • Therapy or Counseling >
      • Family Therapy
      • Child Therapy
      • Teen Therapy
      • Reunification Therapy
      • Co-Parenting Therapy
      • LGBTQAI+ Counseling
      • Christian Counseling
      • Foster /Kinship
      • Post-Adoption
      • Family Maintenance
      • EPIC Family
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Online Therapy >
        • Online Therapy- Questions and Answers
      • Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT)
      • Play Therapy
      • Play Therapy for Adults
      • Multi-Sensory Integration
      • Parent-Child Therpay
      • Experiential Therapy
      • REBT
      • EMDR
      • School Based Family Counseling >
        • For Schools and Districts- PBIS Partners
      • E-Motion >
        • Movement- Stored Trauma Therapy
      • Mindfulness
    • Supervised Visitation >
      • Online Visits
      • Getting Started
      • Facilitated Visitation
      • Monitored Exchange
    • Family Preservation
    • Groups >
      • Confident Kids
      • Productive Parenting
    • Daycare / School- Based Services
    • Associate Clinical Supervision
    • Workshops
    • Online Learning Center >
      • Become a Supervised Visitation Monitor
    • PBIS Partners >
      • Why Do We Have Empty Chairs?
      • Signs A Student May Benefit
      • Why Should My School Collaborate with FCCS?
      • School-Based Services May Include
  • Insurance / Fees
    • Insurance Accepted >
      • Anthem Blue Cross Medi-Cal
      • TriCare
      • Health Net
      • California Health and Wellness
      • Cigna
      • aetna
      • Molina
      • Molina Medi-Cal
      • Kaiser
      • Victim-Witness
      • Cash Pay
      • Important Note About Insurance
    • Superbills
    • Reduced Fee Therapy
  • Helpful Links
    • Legal Resources in California
    • Community Services >
      • Community Services- Butte County California
      • Community Services- Sacramento County California
      • Community Services- San Diego County California
      • Community Services- Orange County California
    • Can Therapy Help Me?
    • Can Therapy Help My Child?
    • Helping Kids Feel Safe in a Scary World
    • Attachment Trauma Recovery >
      • Origins of Attachment Trauma
      • Signs of Attachment Trauma in Adults and Children
      • Therapy for Attachment Trauma
    • Mental Health Apps
    • Help! My Kids Have Been Taken by CPS >
      • California CSD
    • Places to Go- Family Fun >
      • Places to Go in Texas
      • Places to Go in California >
        • Places to Go in Butte County California
        • Places to Go in Shasta County California
        • Places to Go Suisun City, California
        • Places to Go in Fairfield, California
      • Places to Go in North Carolina
      • Places to Go in Oklahoma >
        • Places to Go in Tulsa, Oklahoma
        • Places to Go in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
    • Recommended Reading
    • Celebrity Psychology
    • Weight Management >
      • Why We Develop Bad Habits
      • Diets Don't Work
      • Mapping Out Success
      • Journaling
      • Making New Habits
      • Creating Staying Power
    • Can We Talk?
    • Life On Their Terms >
      • Is My Partner Abusive?
      • The Cycle of Violence
      • Dangers of Staying
      • Healing From an Abusive Relationship
    • What is a Treatment Plan?
    • Of Caterpillars and Courage
    • LifeStyle Wellbeing- Creating a New You
  • Career Center
    • What We Offer
    • Practicum Site - Healthcare Administrator
    • Practicum Site - Therapist Trainee
    • Now Hiring Therapist Associate >
      • Therapist Associate Application
    • Now Hiring Community Based Therapist
    • Now Hiring Family Support Specialist
    • Now Hiring Assistant Program Manager Supervised Visitation